One Month

On the day of my last post, I received a phone call in the afternoon letting us know that my Dad in Spain went into hospital on June 25. As a lot of you already know, he had been suffering from rheumatoid arthritis for the past few years and it had most recently developed into pulmonary fibrosis which got to the point where it was so difficult for him to draw breath that he was on a portable oxygen tank. One side effect of his condition was a weakened immune system and he ended up with pneumonia which is when Marina called the ambulance. Of course, since he was never one to admit weakness or a need for help, he was still protesting 'No, no, I'm fine' as the paramedics removed him on a stretcher. Despite my initial gut reaction to get on the next plane out to Las Palmas, I decided to stay home when we learned that he had been unconscious since he arrived at the hospital. I know that my Dad would not have wanted me to see him so incapacitated and I thought that I would fly out when he did regain consciousness. That never did happen, and he passed away one month ago today on July 11.
I still can't believe that he is gone and it feels so strange to update this site when one of the main people I created it for is no longer here to read it. He made many decisions in his life that many may find difficult to understand, but I do know that his one regret was the way his lifestyle resulted in such distance between himself and his children. Despite that physical distance we remained very close, and as I look around my home he is here in so many mementos and memories from the times we did spend together. I'm very appreciative of the wonderful people surrounding me who have supported me so much. I still expect to see that he's on facebook, or to receive a humourous email from him. I knew that when he sold his motorbike - his Yellow Bumblebee - recently that he was feeling increasingly imprisoned by his illness. He believed in and lived 'A lifetime of chance for a breath of freedom.'